websides.org :::

Bad Day at School DAy

2011-01-05T17:50:00.000-08:00

Today I had a really bad day and it was tough to do my maths.

BREAKING: www's

2007-12-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

breaking: nick denton fires himself, replaces website with bag of tears

Gobbles

2007-11-30T14:40:00.000-08:00

emily gould and choire sicha left gawker, jakob lodwick left vimeo.
i'm moving to sf, and your sister and I are on good terms.

murray's new status message - the internet quit. it's moving on to bigger and better things. 5:45 PM

Dimon is going to hit you in your POW

2007-11-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

Up until 3 months ago, he couldn't grow facial hair. Now he's hosting a tv show. He's all grown up.

For Your Eyes Only

2007-11-28T22:39:00.000-08:00

Because its still good

2007-11-06T13:08:00.000-08:00

Bangorang!

2007-10-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

"The statue was also moved eight inches forward. There was an attempt to center the statue on the pedestal, but to no avail."

- http://www.oomsa.com/node/678 via Dobbs

Fires in San Diego

2007-10-24T11:32:00.000-07:00

Manhattan looks ridiculously tiny in comparrison to the fires raging in San Diego.

Taco stands and Waterpolo tournaments beware.

Inside the Internet

2007-10-19T23:21:00.000-07:00

Thomas Truax: Inside The Internet from adam deeves on Vimeo.

2007-09-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

ProbablyNarnia: jon already implemented it for the demo for the dinner party
badlittleman: oh great
ProbablyNarnia: its working now, without any language to say its possible
badlittleman: it just drops you to the original upload?
badlittleman: or to a scaled version of that?
badlittleman: .. btw im having a conversation with a 50 year old in seminary school:-)
ProbablyNarnia: no, to the original image, nothing scaled
ProbablyNarnia: why?! why on earth?
badlittleman: im buying some gauges from him for paris vs paris:-)
ProbablyNarnia: wow
badlittleman: Robert Morrow:
the first 2 years guys are assigned to a local congregation to do field work. They assist at the church, do hospital visits, teach bible class. After a couple of preaching classes they get to preach from the pulpit. The course are broken into doctrine, history, practice, bible study (using greek and hebrew) and they all wind up interacting in interesting ways.
ProbablyNarnia: oh my god

2007-09-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

Annenberg School For Communication
This Month's Visits and Page Views

Ferrari Rhymes With EVERYTHING

2007-09-18T19:27:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Rex at Fimoculous I'm now listening to Kanye West's new album and getting served with a pop-up when he mentions a brand or product. Its quite a mindfuck to get pop ups every time he rhymes "Stronger" with "Isotoner." Which is 5 by the way. A bit more fun is the "Klondike" and "Blond Dike" rhyme. You pick.

[via Fimoculous]

3:07 You'll Probably Want Back. Sorry, or whatevah.

2007-09-06T18:43:00.000-07:00

To think that there are thousands of competing sites (cough), nay millions, trying to capture what an embarassing animation can do in 3 minutes. Anyhoo, remember webjunk.tv?

[via Waxy]

Juxtaposed Juxtapositions

2007-09-06T16:44:00.000-07:00

It seems there's not a whole lot of room in the blogosphere these days. While redundancy and repeat are mainstays for the up-to-the-minute-i-saw-it-first medium (and no one expects it not to be), it is interesting to see people "reporting" different but similar things. Its almost like all of these people shouting at each other can actually be illuminating. Not as individuals, but collectively. Of course.

"I thought the juxtaposition of the two headlines was pretty funny. The two headlines discuss essentially the same issue with quite contradictory projections. Each news story discusses a small battle, and both stories forecast over-reaching, inconsistent implications for the larger war."

[The Gong Show: Juxtaposed Sensational Headlines]

"Early adopter? Late adopter? Surly adopter? Nokia and Apple are vying for your affections. When you Googled "iPhone" earlier today, targeted ads for Nokia's Mosh social network showed up, taunting iPhone buyers for having overpaid. In response, Apple placed ads telling "late adopters" that they could get "all the iPhone" for two-thirds the price."

[Valleywag: Nokia, Apple spar via Google ads]

I suppose its comforting to have "both sides" represented in our search results, but its also a bit disconcerting that we're not trusted enough as consumers to make more than a binary decision.

Trust Me, We're Not Going To Make It

2007-08-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

BUSCAR

2007-08-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

Anyone read this thing anymore?

This comes via Dark Roasted Blend. I'm lazy. Its all going here, mishmashed:

Sell Your House, Move into a Larger Bus

Most recreational vehicles are supposed to provide just enough living space to be adequate, however many recent motorhomes appear so sophisticated, extravagant and expensive that they can only be considered a "moving indulgences" for Robert De Niro retired CIA types (seriously, who else can afford the thing?)

As the long weekend in Canada approaches, we are going to witness an RV & Motorhome "highway show", when all types of this venerable zoo on wheels will start to creep toward (and from) the mountains, exasperating the car/truck motorists inadvertedly stuck behind. On this page we'll show various extreme RVs, some available on the market, most transcending the market and perhaps even the common sense.

And more:

RV to the Max!

The following luxury boats are too fancy for mountain roads, probably too fancy for any road (you don't want to scratch this thing) But then again, maybe we're just jealous. The "Rock-Star" RV and the Renault bus conversion each go for a cool one million, but they're definitely NOT the most expensive motorhomes. That honor goes to "The Platinum Plus" model from the "Featherlite Luxury Coaches". Read the article here. The price on the Platinum Plus is $2.5 million.

HAI MAH

2007-08-23T11:43:00.001-07:00

These guys started off doing silly videos in their spare time at College Humor. Honestly, the first few weren't that funny. Once they found their stride (and who was going to play straight man) everything got much better, and quickly.

"Amby Sanders? I don't know who that is..."

2007-08-21T07:12:00.000-07:00

(we will not speak about the notable absence of content here on websides)
[via ]

YouTube Finally "Up"

2007-07-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

Found this via Malatron's site

Guerrilla art action by Street Artist Filippo Minelli performed in Cambodia and Vietnam. The names of global Internet projects that affect our lifes: “Flickr”, “Youtube”, “Myspace” & “Second Life” clash with the slums of Phnompenh.

[via A Blog Soup]

Give the Paper to the People

2007-07-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

Flight of the Conchords is still good. I don't have HBO, but the full episodes are available on their HBO site.

[via ]

ONN Point

2007-07-15T11:16:00.000-07:00

Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash

The Onion News Network takes a stab at life after the Internet Meltdown of 2007. They're doing pretty well.

[via ]

Jonathan Harris IS Ted

2007-07-12T05:44:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've posted anything about Jonathan Harris on websides (nor have I really posted anything in a while). His projects We Feel Fine, Just Curious, and Universe (the only three I've had any experience with) are fantastic inquiries into the human experience, as represented by our etchings on the internet.

The video above his his presentation at the TED conference in march. Its really great hearing him explain things that are so often inexplicable. Until you've played with a Jonathan Harris piece, you'll have trouble understanding it. Harris' work is admittedly voyeuristic, but he likes to call the process a "passive interview," as they don't know they're being watched. Please watch this video of him.

[via Fimoculous]

"One day, your computer will be a big ass table with pictures of other people's kids all over it."

2007-06-21T08:02:00.000-07:00

This new technology, as hawked by Microsoft, has been featured a number of times on websides, but this interpretation takes the cake.

[via Second Verse]

Paris is Popular

2007-06-18T17:16:00.000-07:00

A tangential project from the programmer on task (and on point!) for famegame.com, this is nice little device that keeps tabs on the most significant dispute of our time: Paris France vs. Paris Hilton.

Check it out here.

GOOD MAGAZINE WANTS YOUR HANGOVER!!!11

2007-06-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

Vermouth. By itself. In a shot glass.

I'm a subscriber to Good Magazine. I like the endeavor and I like the people I know involved with the publication. And though their endeavor is a noble one, many have found the time to question its longevity and sincerity. Its marketing schemes like the above, which ended up in my inbox on behalf of Good Magazine (though not from them directly) that provoke this kind of criticism.

Do I prefer prefer Scotch or Irish Whiskey? Pfffffffffffft.

Artrash

2007-06-17T11:30:00.000-07:00

"Tim Noble and Sue Webster
Dirty White Trash [With Gulls] 1998
Six months' worth of the artists' rubbish

This might be old news to some of you, but I had never seen anything like this.

Interestingly, this popped up in my RSS feeder at the same time as Chas Bowie's investigation of the term "white trash" -

I’ve always found the term “white trash” to be particularly offensive, both when it’s applied perjoratively to people on the low end of the economic food chain, and when people use it boastfully to refer to their own heritage, as if it were a badge of authenticity that has suddenly become ironically chic. But until this article, I had no idea that it was such an old phrase, nor where it came from:
Is it, as John Waters once said, “the last racist thing you can say and get away with?” Or has it transformed into a symbol of something like ethnic pride? Or is it just a comical phrase used to condemn—or sometimes excuse—bad behavior, like too much drinking, cussing, fighting, and general screwing around?

And why should we care, anyway? What makes any of this white trash talk anything more than mere pop culture trivia? To answer these questions it helps to look back to the past, to see when and how the term arose, to think about the uses to which it has been put, by whom, and why. Surprisingly, the answers have a lot to do with our changing ideas about sex, class, and gender.

Whether they use the term white trash or not, most Americans are unaware of its long and ugly history. If you had to guess, you’d probably say that the term arose in the Deep South, sometime in the middle of last century, as a term that whites coined to demean other whites less fortunate than themselves. Yet most of what we presuppose about the term is wrong.

[via Cynical-C and Your Daily Awesome]

I Can Has Pictures

2007-06-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

This is the demo of the Photosynth application at the TED conference this year. There were at least two moments where I said "no fucking shit" outloud. (I'm alone, at my "desk" by the way.)

Re-Blog

2007-06-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

Zoologist Disguises Himself to Study Crocodiles

I'm wondering if this will work for cougar hunting -- I'm prepared to put on bangles, a vodka tonic, and NO WEDDING RING!!!!1

"When Dr Brady Barr decided to dress up as a crocodile, the disguise needed to be good.

Otherwise he was in grave danger of being eaten by the real thing.

The zoologist adopted his bizarre outfit in the hope of getting closer to a colony of Nile crocodiles, which can grow up to 20ft.

His disguise was a prosthetic head attached to the front of a protective metal cage covered with canvas and a generous plastering of hippo dung to mask his human scent."

[via Cynical-C]

This Guy Set Up My Internet And Forgot to Log Out Of His Social Network

2007-06-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

DIME, QUE LO QUE?

Wee Men

2007-06-05T15:09:00.000-07:00

This comes via Badmalone, a compatriot of the websides family, who has been frolicking in the wilds of StumbleUpon as of late.

No Title Necessary

2007-06-04T16:53:00.000-07:00

Its only at 13, 892 views (as of 7:50 pm), but if it doesn't get to 200 thousand by the end of tomorrow then my worst fears are confirmed: people just aren't into awesomeness.

Update: The video doesn't quite have as many views as I would have thought (stuck around 33,000) but the creators have chimed in on the Youtube comment thread:

so i think it's time we made a statement here. we never had any idea this video would make such waves. we have decided to open a profile on my space back slash cocons. please go add us. the page is still under construction and there are many more videos to come. thank you all and stay tuned. -90210 twins (and brian)

[via Jervenaut]

Crappy Musicians Keep Stealing Our Internet

2007-05-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

I forced Tkid to write this little diddy because he found the media and, frankly, its fucking interesting... regardless of its truth.

Look familiar? Aside from the fact that you may recognize the rapidly un-indie-fying (i just made up a crappy word) Peter Bjorn and John, their video for Objects of My Affection looks eerily similar to a certain Flash game where the likeness of our President falls listlessly through space occasionally hitting and sliding off orbs. Can it be that the internet is affecting other mediums such as music and even the less impressive music video? I know email is huge, but who knew the impression this internet could have on modern life. What's next a line rider novella?

BONUS! :::
We found a copy of this game, but instead of Bush you get to fling around a cute little bikini clad girlie.

Tag-Teaming Your Furniture

2007-05-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

We're working our way back, slowly.

I have no idea whats going on here, but these guys seem to be in the midst of a fairly serious gang-bang with an ottoman. This clip was featured on Kottke and a variety of other sites. Todd Levin at Tremble has this to say:

"I am quite serious when I say I would be totally happy if this video was the World Wide Web's grand finale, and then the Internet just went dark and we all went back to making candles and reading the bible and stuff."

Interestingly, it was featuerd on the Daily Show last night depicting why the military has banned its soldiers from using youtube and myspace.

Update:

Comedy Central only puts their Daily Show and Colbert Report clips up the next day.

Two Cats, Two Crabs

2007-05-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

[via Clio Award Winners]

This Is Called "Phoning It In"

2007-05-10T06:05:00.000-07:00

Zombie-American

Post Goes Here.

[via Lindsayism ]

Websides Is Sorry

2007-05-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

We've been neglecting our dedicated readers (hi Timmy! hi Mom!)

We'll be back with regularly scheduled content soon enough.

[via Married to the Sea]

The Need for Speed

2007-05-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

Please welcome our newest contributor: Carlos Zambrano. HAHAHAHAHAH

Stop deleting those FREE XANAX spam e-mails! The newest sensation from south of the border is headed for a doorstep near you. For one low price of $9.99, you too can have a bunch of sketchy adderall delivered to your house, straight from an online discount drug pharmacy in scenic Tijuana. The only hitch is that the government & post office aren't reeeeeally cool with it, so you gotta put in a little elbow grease to make it happen. Or should I say . . .axle grease?

The prize is inside. The drugs are in there, somewhere, and it's up to you to find them. Think of it like an Easter Egg hunt, except instead of running around on the lawn trying to find a bunch of stupid painted eggs, you're disassembling a piece of foreign machinery with a screwdriver and a hacksaw to get at a baggie of low-grade amphetamine. Welcome to the big leagues.

Threats Pay, Superhunk Doesn't

2007-05-04T12:52:00.000-07:00

This articulate drawing is in regards to this post, and Superhunk's unwillingness to give us credit. Superhunk promised your dedicated editors some link love (on webjunk.tv) for shilling out some posts and defiling your eyes with videos of puking-sex-dogs. Murder sent this as a threat to his family.

UPDATE!: Websides.org made it onto the Webjunk.tv blogroll.
NEVAHMIND THEN! VODKA TONICS HERE WE COME!

Don't Leave, I'll Be Right Barack

2007-05-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

Murder has 0 friends too!

Around 2 pm today, right before I read the headline that Barack Obama had lost 160,000 friends on MySpace, I was gripped suddenly by overwhelming grief. I stopped everything I was doing. The girl who sits next to me in my office asked what was wrong as I wheeled away from my desk, visibly shaken, hand to my heart.

"I feel…an immense pain," I began, "…somewhere…there is much suffering…people are hurting…everywhere…"

A single tear dripped down my cheek.

Apparently the root of all evil in the world is a guy named Joe Anthony, a paralegal from LA who set up a MySpace page for Barack Obama a couple years back when he was elected to the Senate. When they first found out about it, Obama's people only requested that they be able to access the account to stay abreast of what Anthony did to it. But now that the dude is running for president, his campaign staffers have slowly tried to wrest complete control over the page, probably so this dude doesn't post naked pictures of himself on it.

But Anthony wasn't going anywhere without a catfight. When they didn't pay him the 39K he demanded for control of the page, he pissed his pants and changed the password, like the kid who smashes his Nintendo against a wall just so you can't beat him at it anymore.

Call me old-fashioned, but that sounds a lot like extortion. Apparently the MySpace executives that the Obama campaign consulted did too, because they ended up giving control of the page to Barack's people. However, to be "fair", MySpace took every one of the friends that Anthony had collected and transferred them to his other, presumably personal, MySpace page, and Barack had to start over at zero. And that was that.

Tears in his eyes and hugging his teddy bear, Joe Anthony turned back down the lonely road to his normal life, taking 160,000 pseudo-political MySpacers with him.

By the way, why do political candidates have MySpace pages again? Isn't like ¾ of the MySpace population not old enough to vote? And isn't the other ¼ (besides me and my awesome friends) too retarded? I guess to Barack Obama, getting a kewl graphic of glittery, sparkling cherries in his comment section is just as good as a hole punched out next to his name on a ballot next October. I will never understand politics.

Anyway, the latest update has Obama garnering 21,000 new friends on his fresh MySpace page, while Joe Anthony has reportedly lost all of his friends in real life.

[via KNXNewsRadio]
[related my.barackobama.com]

Switch Hitting Beaver!

2007-05-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

Tkid is back. The guys at Shorpy did some work figuring this little gem out, and Tkid wants them to pay for the pain his father caused him. Makes perfect sense.

Neato! Geeks at Shorpy have uncovered a mystery that has been plaguing geeks for decades. What did the Mrs. Rayburn's note to the Beave actually say?

My typing is lousy, but the typewriter isn’t so hot either. After all, why should I take the blame for these mechanical imperfections, with which all of us must contend. Lew Burdette just hit a home run and Milwaukee leads seven to one in the series. This is the last line of the filler material of the note. No, my mistake, that was only the next to last. This is last.

I remember long nights with my father huddled by the micro film looking for clues while he drank heavily and abused our dog Lucy. We never could uncover the truth. Was Mrs. Rayburn going to expel the Beave for huffing glue with Eddie behind the playground or was it simply a permission slip for the class trip to the milk bottling plant? In the end it was simply nonsense. Just gibberish. It was musings about the fact that it was nothing. How ironic. My father's life work down the drain. Cases upon cases of scotch wasted. I cannot count how many switches from the Sycamore tree he wasted beating poor Lucy. I guess what i have learned is that physical abuse is wrong if it is in pursuit of the unattainable. I'm gonna miss Lucy. Fuck you "Leave it to Beaver." It was a stupid gay show anyway.

[Shorpy]

Murder Still Thirsty, This Time For Blood...

2007-05-02T12:39:00.000-07:00

Murder: WHERES OUR BLOGROLL CREDIT YOU FUCKING HACK
superhunk: hahaha
Murder: YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?
WE WILL FUCK YOU UP
superhunk: the guy who does it is out
he'll be in shortly
Murder: sweet
superhunk: i hope
Murder: god damn right you hope
this isn't a game man
you better not think this is some kinda game
superhunk: is it a game
i was thinking game
Murder: NO IT IS NOT A GAME
superhunk: no game
got it
Murder: this is real life man
no games
no silly little games
all real
superhunk: this = not game
Murder: too real
superhunk: very real = this
Murder: that's right man
that's fucking right
superhunk: fucking right = that
Murder: DON'T FUCK WITH ME MAN

This Is What Happens When Murder Gets Thirsty

2007-05-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

this video is old, and we're broke. welcome webjunk.tv readers. too bad this whole "internet thing" is going to blow over in like two weeks. here's Murder:

Did you see that dog throw up on that other dog? I did. Vote for the best online dog porn at webjunk.tv. Seriously, you’ll feel awful about yourself, it’ll be amazing.

We Feel Sorry For You Prols

2007-05-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

GoDaddy hosts websides.org.

Dear Narnia,

The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN(R))
recently agreed to reduce their Registrar Transaction Fee from $.25 to
$.22. What does this mean for you?

Good news. You have been credited $.03/yr for each domain name you
registered or renewed dating back to July 1, 2006* -- $.06 has been
placed into your Go Daddy(R) account.

Murder is $.06 closer to that Vodka tonic. There will be many pictures when he drinks it.

AdSenseless

2007-04-26T18:53:00.000-07:00

This was the first text ad that cycled through our brand spankin' new adsense widget. I'm going to blame this one on murder.

This is the new "for profit" websides. Click away.

Planet of the Websides: Bananas in Space

2007-04-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Please welcome our newest contributor and intern, "pbj4lunch." A friend of a friend has been bugging me to take his daughter off his hands for a few hours a week, and when he threatened to expose Murder's identity, we had to take her on. Sorry. Especially to those of you reading this while eating...

Did you hear about the new planet they found in SPACE? Well they did! But like, whatevah, why didn't they see it before? I read that a scientist was like brushing his teeth at night or something and then he saw in the mirror the reflection from outside of the sky and he saw the planet and was like "Oh mah Gawd, can it be?"

Then he ran to his scientist cave and got on the science phone and called all his friends and was like, "Dood, there is totes a new planet in the sky, go outside and look up and like over by the moon and above the roof of the ugly-neighbor-who-gives-gross-crackers-and-stuff-instead-of-candy-on-Halloween's house!", and then over the receiver you could hear the other scientist go "Oh mah Gawd, it looks like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup or maybe I am just hungry!"

They say we could live on the planet because it has enough air and whatevah to build a mall. Sweet! But what kind of stores will they have at the mall? I hope not the Discovery Channel store, because it is wicked boring.

Wow, I am wicked excited! What do you think they should call the new planet? I think they should call it "Steve", because that is the name of the boy who DOESN'T throw bananas at me in the cafeteria.

Space Roolz!

email me at pbj4lunch at gmail dot com!

[via The Register]

Bird Watching

2007-04-25T12:54:00.000-07:00

Davis on the music beat, unbeatable. Here's a quick background, to set the scene:
On the Parisian Website La Blogothèque, photographer and filmmaker Vincent Moon regularly contributes a video feature called Les concerts à emporter ("The Take-Away Shows") in which he films emerging bands in distinctive locations around France, performing songs in one continuous take.

Andrew Bird has definitely got the best foie gras on Montmartre. Vincent Moon's video of Bird pondering around the 18th arrondissement is equal parts impromptu concert en plein air and study in public reactions to impromtu concerts. By the end of "Spare-Ohs," Bird is looking out over the hill onto the rest of the city below and Moon swirls the camera around to catch a 360 of the gathered crowd. And of course you're like, Whoa where did they come from? Because Moon's technique is carefully calculated to seem simultaneously in your living room and on a crowded street. Because if crowded streets were really like videos of a whistling fiddler and the children of Hamelin, then the world would be a better place. Extra points for the little spiritual-tinged song Bird picks on his fiddle and sings during the credits.

[via La Blogotheque]

We Won

2007-04-24T20:57:00.000-07:00

[via Compete]

He Got His Hand Back

2007-04-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

The lower left arm of zoo veterinarian Chang Po-yu was bitten off by a crocodile when he tried to pull a tranquilizer dart from its body. In a bid to rescue the arm two bullets were shot at the crocodile but it was unharmed. Chang eventually underwent emergency surgery. His hand was reattached.

I've been putting alot of these odds and ends in the sidebar, in the daily dump section to the right.

[via The Guardian]

2007-04-19T20:20:00.000-07:00

Sent at 3:23 PM on Thursday
james: dude he should be paying you for your websides contributions. that site is nothing without you
murder: really?
james: you're the talent kid...don't you wanna see ya name in lights? you gotta think big to get big kid. sure he's a nice guy and everything. but is he really looking out for what's best for murder? hell no. he's lookin out for el numero uno
murder: yeah, he's still got me bustin' my chops down in the copyroom. i'm disposable, like a napkin!
james: or like a disposable diaper. or a disposable toilet seat.
murder: that bastard sits there chain smoking pall malls all day while i'm out there trackin' down hit videos on youtube
james: i know. i am renegotiating your contract with him right now. i broke his car window last week to send a message.

Sent at 3:43 PM on Thursday
murder: he's been talking about burning down the office to collect the insurance money. i think he's slipping.

Chickernet/Interabbit

2007-04-19T08:45:00.000-07:00

I can trust Murder to pump these posts out. He's all up to his knees in internet trends and chicken feces, though he much prefers the latter.

Are chickens the newest trend in internet…trends? Fucking apparently.

A while back I came across a live web feed of a bunch of chickens in someone's backyard in Massachusetts. It depicts a scummy yard filled with chicken crap, all day long, and once in a while a few chickens meander on and off screen like zombies.

"Fascinating," I said to myself.

So then today I was trying to find it again, so I googled "chicken cam" (editor, link to Google there so people know what it that means). Amazingly, about a hundred chicken cams from all over the world came up and in case you were wondering, chickens in France don't do much different than chickens in America, except they smoke cigarettes.

Eventually I found a chicken cam in Massachusetts that I loved so dear and repeatedly sent my friends hidden links to, and observed the chickens were nowhere to be seen. The ground was soaking wet and the sky in the distance gray and cloudy, and I took these to be the effects of the recent nor'easter. Did the storm kill the chickens? Suddenly I noticed the option to actually look inside the chicken coops, and sure enough, there they were, holed up in their little tenement avoiding the elements like maybe even people would.

"Fascinating," I said to myself.

Are chickens our greatest natural resource, our best and our brightest? Think about it, as the two in the video break up a fight between a Sunni rabbit and a Shiite rabbit.

[via Kottke]

I Give It One Star, Out of Two Stars

2007-04-13T15:17:00.000-07:00

[via Worker #3116]

BREAKING: Hippie Purist Seeks Vengence on Craigslist

2007-04-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

Only someone without a job who scans Craigslist daily in search of employment and tickets to see aged hippie musicians would come across this post. This is that man's friend. His name is Davis.

So there are purist hippie thugs orchestrating systematic smack-downs on their capitalistic counterparts? Sounds like it could be an awesome episode of The Wire. The thugs would obviously have to become black, and the capitalist would be the Irish cop. No, that wouldn't work, but you'd still need a cop. Fuck it! I. WANT. IN.

But I do like it how the guy is so unashamed of what he did and like tells the whole story "The whole thing was over in maybe thirty seconds, but it felt like forever."
Like, all of a sudden, what the fuck are we talking about? Did your girlfriend dump you? Did your sister's puppy get run over? Shut the fuck up!

And then, at the end, the hamartia, as if it wasn't his fault -- it had to be that way -- but he's sorry:

"I'm a fan and was maybe asking too much, but I definitely don't deserve this."

But then, next line, this kid has spunk again! He's gonna "kick the shit out of someone" (or press charges) with your help, people of Craigslist! Because we will right the wrong and turn in the hippie purists who kicked your ass. Your rich, mercenary hiring hippie ass.

Humps, Bumps and Irony

2007-04-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

Murder is back.

With everyone clamoring about this video of Alanis Morissette mocking a Fergie song, I seem to be the only one pissed off, as usual. First of all, I didn't need Alanis Morissette to tell me Fergie sucks, because Alanis Morisette sucks too. Is she not aware of the irony here?

The funny thing is that this apparently isn't a new trend. Take this cover of Nelly's "Hot in Here" by some other dumb wench who thinks she's fucking cute. Has pop music gotten so bad that the only way to subvert it is through more pop music? It's actually almost worst hearing Alanis Morissette talking about spending all my money on her humps, because at least Fergie was a methhead for a while. Alanis Morissette is just some dumb bitch any one of us could have picked up off the side of the highway. Come to think of it, I also heard a plutocratic group of whores do a cover of that Britney Spears song "Toxic" a while back.

I won't be happy until someone brings me Gwen Stefani's head on a pike.

[via Murder's adolescent mind]
::: related:
Alanis Morissette Video
Buzz Feed: Pop Song Parodies
Alanis Morisette Finally Understands Irony

Peeing On Computers, On Co-Workers, On The Internet

2007-04-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

New contributor Thursday. Just kidding, thats gay. Meet detox, he's not gay:

Chances are if you’re reading this fine blog, you’re probably bummed it’s Thursday. In fact, you’re probably bummed about the whole concept of a “work week” because why can’t it just be the weekend all the time, damnit? If you share those sentiments, or you find yourself horribly depressed by the prospect of another 5 or 6 hours at work, check out this little game put together by your friends and mine at [adultswim].

The name is 5 Minutes To Kill (Yourself). The object is to kill yourself in under five minutes to avoid sitting through another insufferable meeting. Be as resourceful as possible: try on a piñata, pee on some computers or try sharing a bathroom stall with a clown.

[via ]

You're a Grownup

2007-03-30T12:53:00.000-07:00

Things are really getting out of control on the set of The Michael Showalter Showalter.

::: related:
Lily Tomlin and Director David O Russell fight on the set of I Heart Huckabees.
The Michael Showalter Showalter

[via Zach Klein]

Joost Is Like An Old Man Dipping His Hands In Your Bits

2007-03-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard of Joost, you will. Originally titled "The Venice Project," and brought to you by the guys that made Kazaa and Skype, its still in beta but should be launching this summer. Essentially these guys took the 2.6 Billion they made selling Skype to Ebay, and paid off the lawsuits they had pending from the Kazaa mess. They're using the remaining capital to fund Joost.

The idea here is "to deliver near-TV resolution images" on demand, on the web. Its simple really. With the success of YouTube and the recent proliferation of web-shows and video channels, Joost aims to corner the market on high quality content while bringing along some of the larger and more successful content creators. I.e., Viacom, National Geographic and more.
Its a really long story and its been told better elsewhere.

This, however, is their first television ad. Its weird, and refreshing.

:::related: Joost.com, Joost Screenshot

[via PSFK Trends]

Whats Up With Your Vagina Kicking That Reporter in the Face?

2007-03-29T06:31:00.000-07:00

This is to make up for the other day. We got a little out of control about the internet. I'm sorry, we're sorry. This is a clip from Human Giant's forthcoming show on MTV. If you haven't heard or seen anything of theirs, this is as good a place as any to start.

Some vaginas get all the attention.

::: related:
Human Giant - Shutterbugs, Episode 1
thehumangiant.com

[via WWTDD]

Onion Sandwich

2007-03-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

Um. Websides is getting kinda serious. Apologies all around. ~~I promise~~ WE PROMISE to make it fun and lighthearted for all three of you reading. In fact, the websides staff promises to make you smile tomorrow. Its a guarantee.

Until then, Murder is off on a rant about the new ONN (Onion News Network)

Viral videos were at one point seen as content that you could advertise around, right? Like a TV show has commercial breaks, this meant, on the simplest level, plugging Adsense around the video box itself or selling banner ad space across the top of a video's page. It was there, but it was inherently separate.

But in this case, rather than separating the advertisement from the content, the advertisement has become the content. Of course, the easy answer is to say that incorporating the ad into the video makes it more in your face, and that's why I feel so strangely probed afterwards. But it's more than that. What I'm saying is there's practically no way to distinguish the two.

Look at the similarities between the Dewar's content and the Onion content. While the Onion satirizes a modern newscast, the Dewar's ad appeals to nostalgia and satirizes the silent-film era newsreel. Both take a completely sarcastic tone and use it as a medium for humor. The difference is that that is what the Onion does, while what Dewar's does is sell whiskey. Sandwiching the Onion content between the Dewar's content is brilliant as well, because while the Onion content is longer continuously, by the end of the video there's been just as much time devoted to both.

But the Dewar's ad content, humorous, engaging, and ultimately effective as it is, could not survive without the Onion content. By attaching itself to "real" internet video content and replicating itself after it, it becomes more than an advertisement, it becomes the video content. The two are now indistinguishable. The advertising is doing more than selling a product, it is trying to sell itself as something more than just an advertisement, and that's what's so brilliant/scary.

Sandwiching the Onion content between the Dewar's content does more that hide the fact that you're watching both for an almost equal amount of time, it ends up creating the underlying feeling that it's the Onion content that is out of place. Instead of noticing a Dewar's ad in the middle of an Onion news segment, I'm noticing an Onion news segment in the middle of a Dewar's ad.

Who's ~~thirsty~~ with me?

- Murder

[via ]

All Up In Your Face, Book

2007-03-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

This graph shows the number of users logged in through Thursday evening on February 22. 150,000 Facebook users care more about [Grey's Anatomy] than their friends.

One of beauties (as well as detriments) of the innernet is that it provides marketers and product hawkers detailed information about their target demographics; and it does this better than any other medium (Nielsen ratings, my ass.) What's really interesting, however, is when you see (as in the graph above) how an internet audience is affected by television. Every Thursday the Facebook team watches the activity on their site take a dramatic dive at the start of Grey's Anatomy, and then return to normal levels thereafter (it even rises a bit during the commercial breaks.)

Services like Facebook and Myspace are in a unique position here. Besides monitoring their members actions, locations, colleges, and interests -- they're able to monitor activity because so many members keep the window open all the time. Case in point, this guy:

A Goldman Sachs trader in the UK named “Charlie” was warned by his employer that his visits to Facebook on company time were to stop. He spent, apparently, over 500 hours on Facebook in a six month period. That works out to about 4 hours per day.

500 hours on Facebook. That's a five with two zero's after it. As a trader for Goldman Sachs, he probably made 500 dollars for each of the hours he spent trolling Facebook looking at his friend's younger sister's pictures.

But however much of a time suck these spaces are, now we can verify that bankers and traders are filthy scumbags (or at least, the owners of these services, Mark Zuckerburg and Rubert Murdoch can.) And in as much as Myspace is a "place for friends," its really a place for advertisers to cater their products to your every click. They're providing the most in depth and reciprocal medium for both consumers and retailers to better understand one another.

Now these notions have already been floating around the ethosphere for some time. The advent of a ratings box and the tighter loop that it provided television executives years ago got the ball rolling in the first place. But its interesting to see the cross medium affect -- namely, how the internet effects television, effects advertising. Wowzers, this is a bit too heady for websides.

But generally it begs the question: Does the trader from Goldman really even need advertisements for dick cream and Viagra while he looks at young girls? Whats the point if he's already typing with one hand...

[via Scott Kidder and TechCrunch]

Whatevah: Dog Food

2007-03-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

Murder, one of the initial contributors here (as well as co-founder of the still awesome ACN), has been MIA for a bit. Now he returns with a regular feature called "Whatevah." We're totally serious about this. Also, is anyone reading this anymore?

Maybe I shouldn't have eaten all that dog food. Or that dog. Apparently, after a bunch of dogs got sick last week and some even died, they found a bunch of rat poison in like a hundred different brands of dog food. So the dog food got recalled.

They even found it in some of my favorite brands, such as "Ol' Paws" dog food, and "Your Pet" dog food, which always confuses me, because who are they talking about? My dog? Wait, your dog? Are you telling me to buy a dog? Whatevah, why would I even buy a dog, why?

It would only mean less dog food for me.

But there's already less dog food for me, that's why this whole "Dog Food Scare '07" thing is way out of control. What happened to truth in packaging? Shouldn't it have said somewhere on the dog food package "10% Raw Protein, 80% Rat Poison, 10% Filler"? I'll bet if they did that they never would have had to call all that dog food back ("Here, boy!").

And who are these dog food poisoners? Are they idiots or something? I mean, are they trying to kill rats or are they trying to kill dogs? I'll bet a lot more dogs would have died if you had just used dog poison instead of rat poison. Duh?

Also, what's with calling dogs "boy"? Are they like our slaves or something?

It's really hard to read Perez Hilton on my Dad's old Apple IIe.

Love,

Murder

Showalter Showalter Cross

2007-03-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

The 3rd Installment of the Michael Showalter Showalter. Its only getting better.

[via Zach Klein]

Pros and Randos/Hos

2007-03-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

This gem comes via Kottke. Its a fairly random gallery of random photos of random people with professional and collegiate basketball players. Its the kind of shit that we at Websides (now in .org flavor!) live for.

A response from devoted reader "noodle":

Those smiles [are] haunting... the look of pure self-satisfaction on the guys faces and the look of "tonight I'm fuck toy and proud of it" on the girls. They're all so happy to be where they are. NBA Ballers just spread self-love and good times whereever they go. and stds. and unwanted babies.

Tkid prefers the pictures with drunks, but my favorites are the ones in which the athletes look entirely out of place:

[via Stew Mac's Ballers via Kottke.org]

The 107 Year Old Blob

2007-03-15T07:19:00.000-07:00

Your Daily Awesome does a fairly good job of picking up nuggets of goodness (or awesomeness). In this instance, they've all but his the jackpot.

Olive Riley, 107 of Australia, recently started a blog with the help of her friend Mike. According to Mike, Olive calls it her “blob,” which is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. I like the pictures and the titles of the posts (Lettuces, Teeth, and War) as much as the text itself.

On top of that, when I went to the blog/blob, the first post was titled: "BAKING BREAD AND SWIMMING IN THE NUDDY." I'm assuming 'nuddy' is nude, and baking bread is... just baking bread (hopefully.)

[via YDA]

Impossible Is Still Nothing.

2007-03-12T19:43:00.000-07:00

So they went ahead and did it. Someone was going to. The phrase that Aleksey Vayner made popular, and was the point of so much ridicule, is now the title of Adidas' new advertising campaign: "Impossible Is Nothing."(Update: "impossible is nothing" has been a slogan of theirs for a while now. I just caught with of the most recent press release and iteration of the campaign. Ta-da) Vayner, if you don't remember, is the enterprising young Yale student who attached a video to his resume when applying to the investment banking firm UBS.

The New York Sun does a thorough job of summarizing it:

"Mr. Vayner identifies himself on his resume as a multi-sport professional athlete, the CEO of two companies, and an investment adviser. The video depicts him lifting a 495-pound weight, serving a tennis ball at 140 miles an hour, and ballroom dancing with a scantily clad female. Finally, Mr. Vayner emerges enrobed in a white karate suit and breaks six bricks in one fell swoop. Between athletic bits, Mr. Vayner takes the opportunity to opine on success. After being described in the opening lines of the video as "a model of personal success and development to everybody," Mr. Vayner says, "Failure cannot be considered an option." He adds: "To achieve success you must first conceive it and believe in it. Remember: impossible is nothing."

But "Impossible is Nothing" as an ad campaign, on the internet, is nothing if not hard to take seriously -- intentional or not. Adidas's effort here is actually kind of heartwarming (regretfully). In the spots, athletes narrate animation which depict their own struggles with adversity -- as athletes (weaknesses becoming strengths, etc.) Its both touching and fitting, especially in the case of Aleksey Vayner. From the official
press release:

“With this campaign we get a glimpse of the athletes not at the finish line, but rather at a pivotal point in their journey,” explained Eric Liedtke, Senior Vice President Global Brand Marketing, Adidas Brand.

Vayner made a pivotal mistake making that video. Instead of an inspiration, he's proved nothing more than a media punching bag. And fun.

[via ]

A Rant In His Pants: "Pick and Roll"

2007-03-09T11:16:00.000-08:00

TKid is soon to board a plane to LA for a weekend of childish debauchery. As such, he thought it pertinent to tell you, our dear three readers (hi Davis!), about his childish habits. Enjoy:

The mystical Narnia (*note, he wrote that, I did not add it) asked me to ruminate on nose picking. This happens to be a subject that is very close to my heart. I pick my nose. I do. Fuck you. I never (ever) eat it and rarely flick it places it could get me into trouble (i.e. your hair). I pick my nose at work basically all day and since I sit in an open space with people walking around I get caught. I get caught my both male and female co workers, bosses, and interns alike. I feel shame I do, but that doesn't outweigh the urge to check out what is going on in my nose. The best times to pick your nose are the mornings after a long night out, after a shower, especially the shower after a work out, and between the hours of 10am and 6pm. Early evening and right before bed are not bad either. I've tried using a napkin to cover the finger but that just brings more attention and does nothing for that retarded face one makes when they are really busy up there (god I am so ashamed of myself). Blowing you nose is not nearly as satisfying and requires too much equipment. I swear I touched my brain one time and then fainted. I am 25 years old.

[related Nose-Picking (Wikipedia)]

Technosexualready Been Done

2007-03-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

in this awesome video Seth Aylmer interviews the founding technosexualicist, owner and proprietor of technosexual.org who, as it turns out, is quite pissed about the Calvin Klein piece.

Much on the web is recycled and re-featured. This stuff comes and goes in cycles, and thats to be expected when things like permalinks make permanent record of all content on the web. But this trend, as written about in the New York Times is just weird. Essentially, in a ploy to attract the demographic known as "millenials," Calvin Klein is reaching out to the generation defined by technology in a not-so-subtle way. A quick blurb:

“We have envisioned this as the first fragrance for the technosexual generation,” said Mr. Murry, using a term the company made up to describe its intended audience of thumb-texting young people whose romantic lives are defined in part by the casual hookup.

About a year and a half ago Gizmodo was writing about this (which inspired Seth Aylmer to make this video for Current.tv). Others were, and are still writing about it.

What bothers me is that beyond usurping this term and this culture for their own marketing needs, Calvin Klein has gone out and bought the fucking trademark.

Last year, the company went so far as to trademark “technosexual,” anticipating it could become a buzzword for marketing to millennials, the roughly 80 million Americans born from 1982 to 1995.

Now they own a term that has been used, popularized, filmed, forgotten, and now remembered -- in association with a brand. Its both wrong and clever.

[via THE WHOLE INNNERNETS]

Murder, Tkid, Mutiny

2007-03-05T08:49:00.000-08:00

Overhead in the halls by the water cooler, at the websides office. Somtimes I push them too hard, but it's for their own good. Really, it is. This little snippet after some heavy slavedriving:

Tkid: it was us against him man. us against him.

murder: solidarity baby, come on. i wouldnt sell you out, im part of the union too here

Tkid: you are a scab!

murder: IVE GOT MOUTHS TO FEED

Tkid: i have moths to feed

murder: wool is mad cheap

Tkid: ok fine

murder: i have to go, hardball with chris matthews is on

Tkid: i understand

[via ]

Playing with Balls

2007-03-02T09:35:00.000-08:00

We've had our share of Murder, Tkid, Salad, and the rest. And I think I've spent enough time disgusting you with dick piks and video klips. So, without further adieu, I present a real live journalist: johan the barbarion. (disclaimer: he likes sports -- especially of the "water" variety)

Hope "springs" eternal in March and Aril—that time of the year when you, "Joe SportsFan," find yourself stuck in that infamous sports lull between the Super Bowl and opening day. While you're wondering what happened to your local football team and beginning to contemplate your sleeper for your annual March Madness brackets, you can't help but exude the utmost optimism regarding your favorite baseball club because, well, you're just not going to resign yourself to watching the NHL.

Whether you are a fan of the Cubs, Yankees, Red Sox or Rockies, right now is when no legitimate baseball fan knows better. Your manager and GM are putting together the pieces of a year that will either surprise everyone (see Marlins, Tigers circa 2006) or no one (see Yankees circa every season). Because whether you're checking out the next big thing in a young pitcher/Japanese phenom (Phil Hughes, Daisuke Matsuzaka) or banking on a rebound season from that sentimental veteran/old-timer (Derrick Lee, anyone?), spring training is the one time to brag to your friends/coworkers that yes, in fact, this may actually be the year. And why not? Your team boys beat the varsity squad from (fill in the blank) State for the 30th consecutive year. Play ball.

Angry Letters

2007-03-01T08:49:00.000-08:00

I'd like to say that this site isn't going to be home to a series of mediocre vidoes, but I just can't guarantee that anymore.

I've never seen anything like this before. Feel free to make fun of it/me in the comment section. Also, what?

Launching Beers, Balls, and Careers

2007-02-28T07:02:00.000-08:00

Occasionally technology and absolute laziness come together in sweet, sweet harmony. This, ladies and gentlefarts, is one of those moments. Recent Duke graduate John W. Cornwell's BeerLauncher falls somewhere between sliced bread and saturday night. Apparently, it's just as popular :

"2/27/07: To everybody who is asking about price, the BLF took me at least a hundred hours to build, as well as several hundred dollars worth of parts. I would put the price at about $2500 to build ONE. If you are serious about acquiring one, you could email me with the price you would be willing to pay. If I get enough interest the price would obviously come down substantially, although probably not < $1000."

The funny thing is that this kid is pissed about his video ending up on YouTube because he's earning shared revenue on Metacalf (currently, $1,441). The copy on YouTube has 195,000 views, but he doesn't make a penny from it. He's also created a tennis ball launcher (and a video for it.)

::: via Clusterflock
::: related BeerLauncher.com

"No, I don't want to eat no food. I want to eat your motherf*cking ass, is what I want to do."

2007-02-27T13:35:00.000-08:00

TKid scours the far and sicko reaches for you, our dear readers. We will return to less disgusting content very soon.

Once and while a video comes along that really doesn't need anything. It stands alone. This is one of those videos and yes, I am aware of the paradox here. It stands alone, yet this is clearly a supplement. Well, fuck you. Just enjoy!

[via ]

Dick, In a Supermarket

2007-02-27T11:34:00.000-08:00

Beat's a dick in a box, anyday. And gross.

::: via JWZ via Jeremy Zawodny

8 and a half, inches

2007-02-26T20:47:00.000-08:00

The "Michael Showalter Showalter" is my favorite showalter.

[via CollegeHumor.com]

Innernet, Innerspace, Innerearinfection.

2007-02-26T13:16:00.000-08:00

TKid is back. With a vengeance. And proper.

Ah to be young again. This report brought to us by Canada's CBC and the stalwart Bill Cameron was made during the early years of Internet. Although there is no year on the clip, the report seems to have been made during a time where the internet had yet to be overtaken by Spam and Porn, an innocent time where pedophiles had to hang behind middle schools to find their victims. Those were the days when nerds were still nerds and gainful employment predicated on the production of "Fart Videos" was just a pipe dream. Today Internet is called The Internet and is pirated by rich nerds and yes Porn. Pedophiles surf freely among chartrooms (can't believe those still exist) with hopes of ultimately ending up on Dateline's To Catch a Predator. The Future is now my friends. The Future is now.

- TKid

see also, awesome Nat Ives ramble here (somewhat related)
::: via The Internet (youtube)

An Asscrotment of Dings

2007-02-22T06:39:00.000-08:00

This American Life, Redux

2007-02-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

As long time readers of this dribble know (and I'm sure there are tons of you), I'm a bit of a radio-phile/dork. The last time I wrote about Ira Glass and Chicago Public Radio's This American Life it was to announce that they'd gone down the free podcast route, as well as to remind people that they'd soon be airing the long awaited Showtime T.V. series. Now, as many people have noted, the trailer is available online. Its not bad, but its not especially great. I can tell you, dear readers, that after having seen the first four episodes (thanks to a kind friend who still remains in "public media") -- the trailer doesn't do the show justice.

Because Ira and crew are obviously still trying to come to terms with the visual medium, the vocal narration you came to love from the likes of Nancy Updike, Alex Blumberg and even Ira himself is what really shines here. Each "act" of each episode has its own visual feel and style, and each, in its own way, holds true to the conversational aesthetic of the radio show. Long, wide, and professional shots in the first act are juxtaposed against cartoons in the second, or a personal handy-cam type documentary. And though each act shifts gears distinctly, the overall feel of the episodes is so unique, and wholesome (though sometimes a bit disjointed.)

The end result is that Chicago Public Radio and Showtime have a winner on their hands. The transition from radio to television was one they weren't ever 100% comfortable with, but I think the gradual transition over the last few years has benefited them. They haven't rushed into, nor been overly meticulous with this transformation, and the result is a thoughtful and thought provoking platform through which new documentaries and musings can be seen.

All this is not to say that the show doesn't have its faults -- I just don't want to ruin it for those who haven't seen it yet. One thing I can criticize is this stupid logo:

I'd much rather it be Ira's Glasses. Or at least just the old logo:

:::via an old friend

Do Not Lean On Glass/China

2007-02-19T20:19:00.000-08:00

::: stolen from Married To The Sea]

Daily Dump Over To The Right, On This Page. Right Over Here ----->

2007-02-19T10:57:00.000-08:00

This blog is a number of things, including a repository my journey across ye ol' internet. Accordingly, I've had the websides "daily dump" (not really daily, but definitely a dump) sitting over there on the right side margin for the last number of months. Just to clarify (because special contributor Murder thought it was a bit confusing), the dump is a collection of links that I've found interesting/entertaining/better than you. Please be advised.

Gorks Deliver

2007-02-16T14:34:00.000-08:00

salad: you should go on a crazy gork binger and kill someone
murder: woof
me and gork arent friends anymore
salad: maybe you just don't fully understand eachother
murder: i certainly dont understand him
salad: the thing you have to understand about the g-nast is that he works on
his own agenda
murder: yeah he does
hes a fucking jerk
salad: hahahaha
he can be a real jerk
he's like that friend who you know is really a deuschbag but you hang out
with anyway
because he has unlimited supplies of the g-nast or something
my allegory just got all fuckin twisted
i used my allegory inside my allegory
ohhhhhhhhhh dude
murder: wow
salad: heady
murder: wow
salad: i know
we just had a little allegory fender bender
not to worry though
murder: it collapsed in on itself like a neutron star
salad: like a half-kicked sack of gorks
just used a tri-gork allephor

Good God! Good Searching with Good Search

2007-02-16T08:21:00.000-08:00

The opportunities for charities to make a little bit of extra dough on the internet are plentiful (though I don't really know of any, they have to be right?). The above, however, is the most direct. Every time you search using Yahoo's "Good Search" you earn the charity of your choice 1 cent. Considering that everyone does at least 20 of these searches a day and that I do about 200, we can finally put some change in the pockets of totally needy folks. Like, for example, a charity called "Stoked" that brings kids to the beach, the mountain, and the street to surf, snowboard, and skateboard, respectively. Charity! Right?! Hows about the Websides charity?

They just started their account last month and so far they've raised $6.94. So lets get good searching and lets help a little kid get a new one-hitter/bong together, as a community, for good.

Murder Dude Wrote

2007-02-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

murder takes his pseudonym seriously. and details!

Boston-Online.com has taken people's morbid fascination with daily police blotters to a whole new level. By taking an interactive Google map and putting a graphic of a .45 everywhere someone gets killed in the city, they've turned violent crime into a totally awesome online scavenger hunt. There are details of each murder too, and even a place for comments. It's awesome to read the comments and totally be able to tell which are written by white kids.

"YO DAMN HERMAN MAN I WAS MAD AS HELL WHEN I GOT THA NEWS THAT YOU PASSED MY NIG. I SORRY TO SEE THAT YOU HAD TO GO OUT LIKE THAT. YOU WAS NEVER THE TYPE TO POST UP ON THE CORNER AND DO THE SHIT THAT OTHER NIGGAS WERE DOIN YOU WAS A LEADER AND ONE OF THE BEST DAYCARE FOOTBALL PLAYERS I KNOW AND YOU WILL BE MISSED NEVER FORGOTTEN. ARMANI AKA SKILLZ SAVE A SPOT FOR THE NEXT FALLEN SOLIDER DUE TO STREET WAR"

"Whoah, right near Wheelock College!"

Also, here is the weirdest crime rate comparison graph I've ever seen. It looks like New York has really gotten tame compared with cities like Baltimore. What a bunch of pussies.

::: related Boston-Online (murder)

They're real, they're spectacular and they're made from assfat!

2007-02-14T07:31:00.000-08:00

The BBC is reporting (and Buzzfeed is aggregating) stem-cell technology has finally provided a result. Taking sample tissue from your ass, thighs and generally unwanted parts of your body, scientists are able to grow breast tissue for implants. Gross and kick-ass! From the DailyMail:

They say the result gives a more natural look than many of the synthetic implants used by showbusiness stars like Pamela Anderson.

Ouch and kick-ass!

::: related DailyMail
::: via buzzfeed.com ]

Duuuh Duh Di Di De Deloe Doo Doooo

2007-02-13T13:30:00.000-08:00

tkid doesn't have time for you:

In the hustle and bustle of today's modern working world no girl has time to watch an entire movie. Life is measured in 2:30 long clips on Youtube or WebJunk and McDonald's can serve you a meal in 36 seconds (which is the exact amount of time you have after finishing before filling your pants.) With this new world in mind guywithglasses has created these five second movies. Now, i have to runs me to a meeting.

[via webjunk.tv]

HillBillery

2007-02-11T19:43:00.000-08:00

In a town hall meeting in Davenport on Sunday, she referred to him both as "Bill" and as "this guy from Arkansas." The crowd loved both.

::: related Washington Post, "Hillbillery"

Yikes

2007-02-11T19:02:00.000-08:00

murder: dude are you gonna apply to be our intern
james: for what?
murder: for ACN dude
james: what's wrong with you two?
murder: come on, crank out a resume, send it over. this is an opportunity sky's the limit for a smart kid like you
james: i'll mull it over, i also have an offer shoveling pigeon shit at washington square park which i think may be more lucrative.
murder: no no no. we will pay you MIGHTILY: cupcakes, balloons, vodka tonics
james: [redacted] said he'd throw in an occasional tug job
murder: goddamn right
james: sweet
murder: tug boats. tug jobblers. tug town tug jumblers.
james: yikes

::: highlights from the Awesome Celebrity Nooz era:

1.
"LOL! Kate Moss I can see your boogers! Ha ha ha! Haven’t you ever heard of your pinky finger?"

2.
"Whoah, awesome Mrs. Spears, or should I call you MOM, or should I call you Mrs. Spears, or should I call you Oops I did it again? I wonder if it hurt. They say she got a caesarian section. What is that? Like a salad or something?"

A Eulogy For Anna

2007-02-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

Because websides is totally taking off and because the intern market is bone dry, I'm going to be opening this thing up a bit to other contributors. I pandered for submissions... here's what we got so far. I know this is horrible. But its also fun. Ideas? Hate Mail? Send here

"Oh America, Oh Anna, the metaphysical poets dreamed you up centuries ago, and then you were born, in Oklahoma, or wherever. You were, on the outside, what we are, on the inside, like Michael Jackson, or Inside Out Reese's Peanut Butter cups (trademark copyright copyright). When I first heard you collapsed I, like everyone, was like "allright, allright, I'll watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force, enough with these hoaxes! Don't you know we have a war going on?" But then, with some investigating deep into the internets I found out you were totes dead. For real. This morning as I walked out of my apartment it seemed like the city was mourning you: the sky was gray, and an angry, metal wailing filled the air, a mechanical cry. But that is probably from the construction because they are tearing down every building around me, but not mine. In fact, they just put a washer/dryer in the basement! Score! New York’s boobs are at half-mast today. Namaste, Anna Nicole. Namaste."
- Rudy Huxtability

"You may have known her from her promotional work for Trimspa, or perhaps her short lived yet highly classy show on the E! Channel. Well, I knew her from "Skyscraper," "To the Limit" and an assortment of other soft core porn movies that I only had to lower the volume on occasionally so my parents would not get wise to the fact that I was actually watching something with Anna Nicole Smith in it. She touched out hearts and penises in ways that many others have and will, but she had a kooky white trash thing going for her that is rare in these times. She was like the Pam Anderson of the South but with a fluctuating weight problem. Everything else was basically the same.

Some may suspect foul play, but that is not the point. The point is the world has lost a shiny, spangled, jean short wearing gem of a woman who likely died of drug intake or an assassination attempt from the Weight Watcher people. Those bastards will stop at nothing. Well friends, I have news for you. She is not really dead. She lives on in our hearts and minds and the inevitable reruns that soulless programming Nazis are bound to air in the coming months, but then abruptly stop once we have lost interest. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Rest in Peace my dove. Rest in Peace."
- tkid

"She died? What a bitch."
- murder

"Dear Vicky Lynn Hogan,
I am writing you a note I wanted to write 14 years ago but even though now its too late I am sending it anyway. Where I grew up there was a grocery store on my corner called dealers. For real, that's what it was called. It sold rancid meat, candy, and magazines. My parents didn't allow me to go in there so, duh I hung out there all the time. In 1993 I was eleven. I was walking to pizza hut with my friend Kelly to get our free personal pan pizzas in exchange for our America Reads! cards or something. We stopped in at dealers for some candy, probs those sour straws, the red kind. Kelly dared me to steal a playboy (she's married now but still a total homo). I'm pretty sure I stuffed it up my insanely dope columbia jacket that said Bugaboo! on the back of the collar. You were playmate of the year. It didn't change my life or anything, but I remember it.
True story!"
- k (the new intern)

"Anna Nicole Smith has died. Trimspa is reviewing whether to keep her as a sponsor. Though no one at the company could be reached for comment, sources close to Anna say she now weighs less than when she was alive."
- diorsuks (to be fair, he felt really bad after writing this)

[via ]

Before I Kill Myself: "A Rant In His Pant"

2007-02-08T10:03:00.000-08:00

Because websides is totally taking off and because the intern market is bone dry, I'm going to be opening this thing up a bit to other contributors. Accordingly, I present to you our very first guest editor, tkid. Be nice.

Do you ever look at your hands and notice that they have extra hair on them? Or your toes? How about wondering if working on the inter net is the wave of the future or your way of postponing adulthood? Do you hate actual mail (not the electronic kind) and refuse to open it unless the envelope is a nifty color? Do you catch yourself using the word "nifty" and think about your mother? Do you have chest pains (i seriously do), back pain, sore joints, muscle ache, ass rashes or boils? If the answer to any or all of these question is yes then you are getting old. However, there is a solution. A healthy diet of AVF montages and underage women can lift your spirits or put you in jail.

[posted by TKID]

Even Cowgirls Get Tired

2007-02-06T20:48:00.000-08:00

I found this whilst trolling the ever abundant archives of Buzzfeed.com (which, by the way, supplies me with almost 90% of the traffic on this site thanks to this post.) It turns out there is a little known cafe in Seattle dedicated to coffee, tea and T&A (pun, not mine)...

The shop is part hooters, part Starbucks, and mostly sexual frustration. You order your coffee, watch the barrista bend over to change the filter and struggle to make it to your nine to five where you dwell on your failing marriage and how much you hate the dog your wife/girlfriend just bought. Or something. Its called Cowgirls Espresso; I'm in love.

[via "i forgot"]

Nervous Fat Kid!

2007-02-06T20:36:00.000-08:00

Ok ok. This stupid blog is not a video dump site, but lately it has been... and I apologize. For those of you (read: 2) that are interested in the data/trend stuff, I'll get back to that soon. And for those of you interested in the weird/porno shit (read 1, or the rest of you) -- more of that to come as well. But, in the meantime enjoy this nervous little fat kid:

[via my good friends at Webjunk.tv]

Hand-o-rama

2007-02-02T09:46:00.000-08:00

New spot for VW's Phaeton. Kottke's calling it "professional-grade shadow puppetry" and I'm just calling it plain awesome. Seriously, look at the tag below... it says awesome.

[via Kottke.org]

A Few Things, and help

2007-02-01T07:04:00.000-08:00

1.)

2.)

Help.

P.S. The graph above is not indicating traffic in the thousands... wtf, right?

[via ]

On The Money

2007-01-30T14:18:00.000-08:00

Now I'm no economist, nor do I pretend to be, but this segment on WNYC's On The Media was pretty interesting -- especially now in the go go webtwopointoh 2000's (naughts?). They're talking here about how when TV and Film producers portray a trend on the screen, its usually past its prime. In terms of our current innnnernet bubble, I'm not sure if it applies, but if this little anecdote is any indication, I sure as hell hope my father doesn't start giving me info about "the google" or "the mac."

MIKE PESCA: Now, sometimes the phrase "smart money," the people who invest the smart money in Wall Street, see something – maybe it's someone who would represent dumb money - being interested in investing, and the smart money says, uh-oh, if this guy's into it, I've got something to worry about.

In your case, you're saying if Hollywood's into it, maybe the rest of us have something to worry about. But there's, I think, a famous anecdote with Joe Kennedy concerning this phenomenon.

GEORGE MANNES: Yeah. The famous anecdote, semi-apocryphal, is that he got out of the market in 1929 before the crash. And what prompted him to get out of the market was that his shoeshine boy was trying to give him stock tips. And he thought to himself, if everybody in the whole world thinks that it's no problem to make money out of the stock market, something terrible is going to happen.

[via On The Media (transcript), WNYC]

This American Television/Podcast/Radio thing

2007-01-28T01:21:00.000-08:00

This American Life is now a free itunes podcast... and a t.v. show. The first is almost more surprising than the second. Ira Glass and crew have always put their web based audio on real player and audible, but their recent effort to distribute it freely is something both long overdue and unexpected. For years the only way to listen to the show on the computer was to have a Real Audio Player that streamed the show. Meaning you couldn't download the mp3s -- you had to buy them.

As for the t.v. show, they, as well as their audience, weren't sure if the radio show could translate to the screen. They had been considering it for some time, and this spring marks the fruition of a serious effort. The show debutes on March 22nd on Showtime -- they've been given a contract for 13 episodes. Click here to subscribe to the itunes podcast. Click here to see Showtime's most recent announcement. (NPR also wrote a piece.)

Waxing Pornographically

2007-01-26T15:27:00.000-08:00

A while back I discovered porn star Taylor Rain's personal "industry gossip site" (not to be confused with her other site). Called Lukeford.com, the site was originally owned by porn journalist Luke Ford who, after a series of lawsuits had to sell the domain. After Taylor Rain retired from the business at the old age of 25, she bought it. She and her ex-husband/best friend Scott Fayner now update the site sporadically.

Its not the most interesting site, but I check it every once and a while for the occasional CAPITALIZED RANT from from Taylor "mother fucking" Rain herself. Here's what happens when she and her dog Bandit go to the carwash:

AFTER MY DAY AT THE BEACH WITH BANDIT MY ESCALADE IS FUCKING FILTHY SO I WENT TO THE CAR WASH TO HAVE THEM CLEAN IT. BUT I DIDN’T REALIZE TIL AFTER THEY GOT STARTED THAT I LEFT ALL MY MONEY IN ONE OF MY OTHER NEW LOUIS VETTON PURSES. I CALLED MY ASSISTANT FAYNER TO BRING ME SOME MONEY BUT HE WAS ALL CRACKED OUT AND WOULDN’T COME AND HELP ME. FUCK! I WENT OVER TO THE GUY IN CHARGE AND PLEADED WITH HIM TO LET ME COME BACK AND PAY AFTER THEY WASHED MY CAR BUT HE SAID NO.

BEING THE LITTLE SMART CHICK THAT I AM I ASKED IF I SHOWED THE WHOLE CREW MY TITS WOULD THEY LET ME SLIDE THIS ONE TIME? HE SAID SURE, THE GUYS WOULD LOVE THAT. SO I WALKED OVER TO EACH OF THEM ONE BY ONE AS THEY CLEANED CARS AND FLASHED THEM MY AWESOME TITS! THEY WERE STOKED. I EVEN SIGNED SOME AUTOGRAPHS CAUSE ONE OF THEM KNEW WHO I AM! JUST ANOTHER DAY FOR TAYLOR MUTHAFUCKIN RAIN!

[via Lukeford (NSFW, sorry)]

Sharpie on Sharpie Violence

2007-01-24T13:23:00.000-08:00

[on the streets of San Francisco]

Forget About The Interest

2007-01-19T22:24:00.000-08:00

[via The Michael Showalter Show, College Humor]

Multi-Touch Orgasm

2007-01-18T12:20:00.000-08:00

I first saw this multi-touch system via the ever savvy Kottke during his iPhone roundup post. Now FastCompany has written about it and provided this little video based on the work of Jeff Han. That is all.

[via Eyebeam reBlog via BoingBoing]

Choire Sicha Returns

2007-01-17T17:06:00.000-08:00

Word on the street is that King Denton will be welcoming former editor Choire Sicha back to the Gawker empire tomorrow. It wouldn't be the first time he's re-opened the gates to an alum, but it would be the first time for anyone to return after a significant absence. When Denton canned Nick Douglas and then let him back, it was on a columnist basis (or whatever diggbait is). Sicha left as the "editorial director" and returns to do... what?

[update] YM has the dirt, as usual, and points us to another former Gawkerite's New York blurb. Oxfeld says Mohney's weathered hide has been discarded for the less ragged (but sufficiently angsty-er) former editorial director. Quite sad.

A moment of silence please

"..."
[via a mouse]

Still Life with Wilson

2007-01-17T10:42:00.000-08:00

There was so much light coming out of the plasma screens that no flash was necessary. Almost cartoonish, the video portraits were stunning.

Working since 2004 on the project with VOOM HD Networks as its artist-in-residence, Wilson has produced 50 sytlized HD video portraits of celebrities produced to be viewed on flat panel HDTVs hung on the wall like pictures. The HD video portraits cast celebrities like Brad Pitt, Steve Buscemi and Winona Ryder in unique settings where exceedingly slow movement is presented in roughly five-minute loops to bring a new dimension to term “still life.”

Depp

Christ

JT Leroy

[via ]

Jobs' Snobs

2007-01-10T17:08:00.000-08:00

CLICK HERE FOR MULTIMEDIA EXPERIENCE

[via (regretfully) the professional "technologisist" dickrebel]