The Need for Speed

Please welcome our newest contributor: Carlos Zambrano. HAHAHAHAHAH

Stop deleting those FREE XANAX spam e-mails! The newest sensation from south of the border is headed for a doorstep near you. For one low price of $9.99, you too can have a bunch of sketchy adderall delivered to your house, straight from an online discount drug pharmacy in scenic Tijuana. The only hitch is that the government & post office aren't reeeeeally cool with it, so you gotta put in a little elbow grease to make it happen. Or should I say . . .axle grease?

The prize is inside. The drugs are in there, somewhere, and it's up to you to find them. Think of it like an Easter Egg hunt, except instead of running around on the lawn trying to find a bunch of stupid painted eggs, you're disassembling a piece of foreign machinery with a screwdriver and a hacksaw to get at a baggie of low-grade amphetamine. Welcome to the big leagues.