BREAKING: Hippie Purist Seeks Vengence on Craigslist

Only someone without a job who scans Craigslist daily in search of employment and tickets to see aged hippie musicians would come across this post. This is that man's friend. His name is Davis.

So there are purist hippie thugs orchestrating systematic smack-downs on their capitalistic counterparts? Sounds like it could be an awesome episode of The Wire. The thugs would obviously have to become black, and the capitalist would be the Irish cop. No, that wouldn't work, but you'd still need a cop. Fuck it! I. WANT. IN.

But I do like it how the guy is so unashamed of what he did and like tells the whole story

"The whole thing was over in maybe thirty seconds, but it felt like forever."
Like, all of a sudden, what the fuck are we talking about? Did your girlfriend dump you? Did your sister's puppy get run over? Shut the fuck up!

And then, at the end, the hamartia, as if it wasn't his fault -- it had to be that way -- but he's sorry:
"I'm a fan and was maybe asking too much, but I definitely don't deserve this."
But then, next line, this kid has spunk again! He's gonna "kick the shit out of someone" (or press charges) with your help, people of Craigslist! Because we will right the wrong and turn in the hippie purists who kicked your ass. Your rich, mercenary hiring hippie ass.



Blake said...

love the "300 dollars for a beat down" tag - somehow I think that just may be used again... somehow...

George said...

perhaps he should hire, the Hippie Mafia who already run ticket and No2 rackets west of the Mississippi, perhaps they can help, if he can find them and can come up with the funds, cue A-team music>tweezer.
I especially like the part about "I'm a fan" yet I still wanted $300 of some other fans money.