Showing posts with label ex-methheads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ex-methheads. Show all posts

Planet of the Websides: Bananas in Space


Disclaimer: Please welcome our newest contributor and intern, "pbj4lunch." A friend of a friend has been bugging me to take his daughter off his hands for a few hours a week, and when he threatened to expose Murder's identity, we had to take her on. Sorry. Especially to those of you reading this while eating...

Did you hear about the new planet they found in SPACE? Well they did! But like, whatevah, why didn't they see it before? I read that a scientist was like brushing his teeth at night or something and then he saw in the mirror the reflection from outside of the sky and he saw the planet and was like "Oh mah Gawd, can it be?"

Then he ran to his scientist cave and got on the science phone and called all his friends and was like, "Dood, there is totes a new planet in the sky, go outside and look up and like over by the moon and above the roof of the ugly-neighbor-who-gives-gross-crackers-and-stuff-instead-of-candy-on-Halloween's house!", and then over the receiver you could hear the other scientist go "Oh mah Gawd, it looks like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup or maybe I am just hungry!"

They say we could live on the planet because it has enough air and whatevah to build a mall. Sweet! But what kind of stores will they have at the mall? I hope not the Discovery Channel store, because it is wicked boring.

Wow, I am wicked excited! What do you think they should call the new planet? I think they should call it "Steve", because that is the name of the boy who DOESN'T throw bananas at me in the cafeteria.

Space Roolz!

email me at pbj4lunch at gmail dot com!

[via The Register]

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Humps, Bumps and Irony



Murder is back.

With everyone clamoring about this video of Alanis Morissette mocking a Fergie song, I seem to be the only one pissed off, as usual. First of all, I didn't need Alanis Morissette to tell me Fergie sucks, because Alanis Morisette sucks too. Is she not aware of the irony here?

The funny thing is that this apparently isn't a new trend. Take this cover of Nelly's "Hot in Here" by some other dumb wench who thinks she's fucking cute. Has pop music gotten so bad that the only way to subvert it is through more pop music? It's actually almost worst hearing Alanis Morissette talking about spending all my money on her humps, because at least Fergie was a methhead for a while. Alanis Morissette is just some dumb bitch any one of us could have picked up off the side of the highway. Come to think of it, I also heard a plutocratic group of whores do a cover of that Britney Spears song "Toxic" a while back.

I won't be happy until someone brings me Gwen Stefani's head on a pike.

[via Murder's adolescent mind]
::: related:
Alanis Morissette Video
Buzz Feed: Pop Song Parodies
Alanis Morisette Finally Understands Irony