Sent at 3:23 PM on Thursday
james: dude he should be paying you for your websides contributions. that site is nothing without you
murder: really?
james: you're the talent kid...don't you wanna see ya name in lights? you gotta think big to get big kid. sure he's a nice guy and everything. but is he really looking out for what's best for murder? hell no. he's lookin out for el numero uno
murder: yeah, he's still got me bustin' my chops down in the copyroom. i'm disposable, like a napkin!
james: or like a disposable diaper. or a disposable toilet seat.
murder: that bastard sits there chain smoking pall malls all day while i'm out there trackin' down hit videos on youtube
james: i know. i am renegotiating your contract with him right now. i broke his car window last week to send a message.

Sent at 3:43 PM on Thursday
murder: he's been talking about burning down the office to collect the insurance money. i think he's slipping.

Yikes

murder: dude are you gonna apply to be our intern
james: for what?
murder: for ACN dude
james: what's wrong with you two?
murder: come on, crank out a resume, send it over. this is an opportunity sky's the limit for a smart kid like you
james: i'll mull it over, i also have an offer shoveling pigeon shit at washington square park which i think may be more lucrative.
murder: no no no. we will pay you MIGHTILY: cupcakes, balloons, vodka tonics
james: [redacted] said he'd throw in an occasional tug job
murder: goddamn right
james: sweet
murder: tug boats. tug jobblers. tug town tug jumblers.
james: yikes

::: highlights from the Awesome Celebrity Nooz era:

1.
"LOL! Kate Moss I can see your boogers! Ha ha ha! Haven’t you ever heard of your pinky finger?"

2.
"Whoah, awesome Mrs. Spears, or should I call you MOM, or should I call you Mrs. Spears, or should I call you Oops I did it again? I wonder if it hurt. They say she got a caesarian section. What is that? Like a salad or something?"